Children And Divorce: Doing The Right Thing For Everyone Involved

Divorce is hard on everybody that is involved in it. For couples with children, it can be particularly difficult because they may or may not understand what is happening or why. Often, they are too young, or they are sheltered from the arguments that have occurred along the way. In any case, the time will come when custody will have to be determined, and you can work together to come up with a solution, or the court may come up with a plan that you do not like.

Keeping the Family Together

There are cases where a couple will try to stay close or even in the same house but separate to their own areas of the home so that the kids have both parents still at home. Sometimes it works, but often the stress between the two adults remains, and the environment is not a great one. Other times it works fine, and the kids get both mom and dad at home. In a case like this, there is still a decision to be made because custody is about more than where the children live. Getting to see them daily is great for both parents but the court is still going to order custody and it might be joint custody or it may not. But the living arrangements you have made may not be the deciding factor.

Hiring A Custody Attorney

If you and your spouse can not come to an agreement about custody of the children, you may find that you need to get an attorney involved in the process. Most good custody attorneys have a pretty good idea how things are going to go, especially if you have a hearing in front of a judge that they have dealt with on many occasions. Take the time to talk out the situation with the attorney and let them know what you would like. If your wishes are unlikely to happen, they will tell you that upfront and may suggest other options that you had not considered. If the alternative options are workable solutions for you and your spouse, you might want to let the attorney present them to the court and see if the judge will award custody based on these recommendations.

Living With The Custody Agreement

Once custody has been determined, both parties need to abide by the terms of the agreement. It can be difficult at first but if you and your spouse work together to do what is best for the kids, it will go much smoother, and they will have an easier transition into what is essentially a new lifestyle for everyone involved. There will be growing pains, but if you honestly but in the effort to make it work, joint custody can work and everyone can be happy and healthy in the situation.  

For more information, contact a lawyer like Kenneth J. Molnar.